– Five Hours –

I like to feel productive. Rarely do I take time away from some to-do list I’ve created. I joke often that I have to continually go through my husband’s detox program of doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. It means ignoring the piles of laundry, dishes and toys to curl up with a book or my favorite shows. I have gotten to the point of really cherishing these down-times even though I quickly hit reality when I see piles of dishes and laundry waiting for me.  I have declared today a pajama day.  That means my kids rest and play, while I work on paperwork, laundry, kitchen stuff. It isn’t the same as doing nothing.

The hard part for me, though, is that I “control” when I want to take that time of nothing. And now I am faced withe five hours of “nothing” every week. Two hours for my boys’ gymnastic classes. One hour of joint swimming lessons for the boys. Two hours for vision therapy for my older son.

Five hours. What will I do with five hours of nothing but sitting and waiting?

My boys have been in gymnastics for a couple months. They absolutely LOVE it!  I have to remind them to not show me their gymnastic moves on  the couch or the playground.  I usually use their class time to catch up on magazines   I also text friends and family and check twitter and websites through my phone. Oh, and I end up watching the gymnastics teams who practice for competition. I go between feeling like I should hold up a “10” score card to admiring their arm muscles and secretly wishing I could have arms like that.  🙂

The boys have been in swimming for awhile. Usually I’ve been able to coordinate their swimming so I can work out after (with Cade’s lessons) or during (with Kory’s lessons).  Now they will have lessons on the same day and time, so I will have an hour to sit. Sadly I won’t be able to work out before, during or after this time. 🙁

Then there will be vision therapy sessions twice a week for Kory over the next six months.  Thankfully Cade can come with us and play in the eye doctor’s toy area in the lobby.  Yet I’ll be sitting and waiting and watching the lobby’s tv that plays CNN.

How can I rest and still be productive during these five hours each week?  I’m  half tempted to do reverse lunges or jumping jacks  – oh wait I’ve had three kids and I “can’t” do jumping jacks – while waiting. Okay not to that extreme. I do plan to take magazines as I have them and download ebooks to read. I really don’t want to lug my laptop around to “work” on things as most of these places don’t have wifi, and I really don’t want to be sitting with a stack of bills in an office somewhere.  I’ve already started a bag for my sitting and waiting time.  Currently, it has two books and a word-find book.  I hope to add more things so I can use my time wisely.

How would you use five hours while waiting – with or without Internet access?

Nuggets From Messy and Honest Answers

I read a post one time about how you should never apologize for not blogging regularly.  So I’m not apologizing for my absence from my blog.  Instead it is a reflection of a busy life.

I’ve been immersed in writing and editing this weekend. And I was reminded today of why I really love being a writer and editor.  It isn’t about seeing my name in print – although that is really cool. It isn’t about how much I’m paid per word – although that is really nice (and important).  It isn’t about making sure I write about myself – which I prefer to avoid.

This weekend, writing and editing is about sharing with others the stories that might not ever be shared otherwise. It is about digging into the deep parts of a source’s thoughts and passions to find out what really makes them tick.

I was reminded of all of this as I emailed back and forth with a source on a story I am writing.  I loved her email responses to my questions. Even in her statement of “my answers are messy and honest.”  I loved it. I got to see who she really is.  And I get to share that with others.

It is also about finding the nuggets no one else gets to see. The story I’m working on right now has 4, 114 words of notes all in one document. Some are in perfect paragraph form. Some are just notations of what I need to expand on. Some are questions of where I need more information. Some are just jumbled sentences that need to be “prettied up.”  Sadly, not all those words will remain in the final version. Especially when there is a 1,200 word limit.

What happens to the extra stuff? It gets cut.  And a lot of it is really really good stuff that no one else will see. But you know what I love?  I get to see it.  I get a glance at the nuggets. The words that maybe have no other impact than directly in my life. And I love that!  I love how God speaks to my heart through these “cut parts.”  And the fun part – these nuggets show up in every story I write or edit.

So what nugget did I gain today?  It was about living simplistically.  Simple living of less is more.  Beautiful words and descriptions that touched my heart.

Nine Years Later…

It is hard to believe that today, December 27, 2011, I have a nine-year-old.

Aidan - December 27, 2002

I think often about the verse that says, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  Luke 2:19 (NIV).

And that is what I often do when it comes to Aidan. I ponder. I treasure.  Nine years later I still can sit back, tightly close my eyes and remember the vivid details that I want to remember.

I remember how 6 weeks early, he was 5 pounds 15 ounces.  I remember the only birthmark I saw… 6 fingers on each hand and 6 toes on each foot.  I can almost hear his little cooing.  I can remember holding him and tears flowing. I can remember being so tired. I can remember the nurses being pleased that he was responding as well as he was and taking him to put in a feeding tube.  I can remember Keith going with the nurses and Aidan in the NICU.  I can remember Keith coming back and turning on ESPN.  I can remember the nurse bringing Aidan back to us because he wasn’t doing well.  I can remember holding him and not seeing or hearing any breathing.  I can remember the nurse checking for anything to show he was still alive. I can remember her shaking her head no.  I can remember a nurse coming in to comfort us.  I don’t remember what she exactly said but I do remember that her first child died and she had many more healthy babies after that.  I remember the blood pressure cuff going off every five to ten minutes to monitor me.  I remember Keith’s parents and his brother being there as well as my brother.  I remember grieving with my husband.  I remember the doctor being so kind.  I remember the nurses being so kind.  I remember the tears – which can be as fresh today as they were nine years ago. But I can still remember Aidan.

Within four hours we said hello and goodbye to our Aidan.  I will never forget him.  I will forever be grateful for what he caused me to learn in life and in faith.  I will forever be sensitive to those who have lost a child (and you will rarely hear me asking someone how many children they plan to have or when they will have another). I will forever be sensitve to those who have decided to not continue a pregnancy. I will forever be grateful for those before and after us who have lost children and shared with us their stories – even those in my life growing up whose children died.  And I will forever be grateful for my two healthy boys since Aidan.

My Three Boys - May 2011

Happy Birthday Aidan. I know heaven is throwing you an amazing birthday party. And thank you for being a part of our life – as brief as it was.

** Aidan’s death was a result of a trisomy 13. A random extra chromosome that impacted his brain, heart and lungs – along with other organs.  We learned about his problems during a routine level 2 ultrasound and decided to continue the pregnancy. You can read more about his trisomy, birth and death at my previous blog site through this link.

The Capture – Student Writing

The Capture

by  Drankuohos Lusch

Hi Wassup!  I’m Bilbo.  My story isn’t exactly a happy one.  It started out Monday morning after waking up to a full diaper. My Mumum came in, and there that feels better.  After that, I ate breakfast and went to sleep again. When I awoke, I found myself in a sack. It was the kind of sack in which you would hold a hostage. It was rough and smelled like a dead animal.  There was silence. Then all of a sudden the bag opened, and I saw light.

“Hello there baby!  My name’s JoJo!  How are you!  Stewie, this baby smells stink!  Get him out of of here!”

“Yes, Boss!”

The bag closed, and off I went.  Later that night, JoJo and Stewie planned what to do with the baby.

“Hey Boss?” said Stewie.  “Tell me again what we’re doing with the baby?”

“You’re so stupid, Stewie,” said JoJo.  “We’re gonna keep the baby and train him to be our evil sidekick.”

Now the whole time they were talking, I was listening in on their conversation.  It was a good plan, but I was smart enough not to fall for it.

All the while, the police, SWAT team, and Air Force were outside Bilbo’s house. His mom was worried sick. She needed her baby back soon “or else!”

At the same time, Bilbo was getting adjusted to being held captive. It was a nice change. Instead of eating baby food, he was fed ice cream and potato chips. Instead of taking naps all day, he was trained to defend himself from flying monkeys.

The day came when it was time for Bilbo’s first real test.  They got in the van and drove away. They drove and drove and drove. Once they were in town, they stopped in front of Subway.

“Get out,” yelled JoJo.

They got out and went into the alley next to the store.

“Get in, grab the grub and get out all in five minutes. Then we’ll see if your training paid off,” said JoJo.

So off went Bilbo on his first test. He opened the door and went in. As soon as he went in, he was greeted by an employee.

“How may I help you little baby,” said the worker.

Bilbo pulled out a handgun.

“Gooogoo gaga!” yelled Bilbo.

“Okay baby, put down the gun, and I’ll give you a lollipop.”

“Give me the grub!” yelled Bilbo.

“You can talk?”

“Heck yeah I can. Now stop stalling ’cause this gun is loaded!”

The worker made three subs, one 6-inch for Bilbo, one foot-long for JoJO, and five five-foot-longs for Stewie.  He put it in a bag and handed it to Bilbo. Bilbo took it and left, just as promised. Once he got in the van, they went to the hideout. Once there, they gave Bilbo his own AK-47 and medal saying he was an honorary “Chubie Brother.” In the end, Bilbo’s mom died looking for him, and Bilbo grew up to run his own gang.

My name is Drankuohos Lusch. If this were my real name, you might be able to track me down. All I can tell you that is true is that I’m in seventh grade.

(Untitled) – Student Writing

(Untitled)

by  Danny

Tyler fell from the sky and grabbed the rope. He then grabbed a branch for safety.  The branch broke, and he fell into the pool of guns. He said it was heaven, and he spent the rest of his life killing people.

One day Tyler saw an ad for a reward to who could kill the most people in a year, and he signed up. He won the competition. He was then granted by the lord of guns the privilege of constructing the new shock wave shooter.  He was given some men to help him.

Unfortunately, it blew up the world. They were able to evacuate to Mars. They had the time of their life.  Then then had fun slowly destroying the planet. Tyler finally died of lack of air.

My name is Danny. I am in sixth grade and homeschooled.

Keeping my focus in yoga and in life…

The other night I started back into yoga.  During the school year, it is my weekly hour escape from my responsibilities.

I’m not the most flexible. And I’m sure many of my poses look awkward, but the feeling when I leave is worth it all.

My first night back, I ended up running a bit late. Well actually I got to the class on time but that meant all the “good” spots were taken. My favorite spot is against the wall so my view is the huge windows looking outside.  While I am working through the poses, I can focus outside on the birds, trees, or whatever else catches my eye.

But this night, I ended up in the back of the class room.  My view was … the wall, the exercise balls at the top of the shelves and the door leading to the hallway. Yep. What a view for yoga.

Since I hadn’t been in yoga for about three months, it was a bit harder to get into different poses.  My muscles just didn’t want to go where they needed to be at times.

We were in one pose where we had to look straight ahead on the floor “with your eyes open” the instructor said.  I focused right on the carpet in front of me. As long as I focused on that one spot, I was fine.  Then the instructor said “oh, so and so, you are holding the pose wonderfully.”  What did I do?  I looked up.  I stopped focusing.  I stopped looking at the one spot that was helping me hold my muscles the right way and my pose in the correct form.

My body lost its balance for a quick second, but I was able to quickly recover and focus back on the carpet. Focus on the spot that held me in place.

And that’s when it hit me. How often do we look up to see what someone else has accomplished?  Do we look up to see what is going on around us?  That’s when we lose it. Our balance. our confidence. Our peace. Our contentment.  When all we really need to do is focus. Focus on that one spot that keeps us centered.

For me, it’s my faith.  If I keep myself in the right pose and focused on the right aspect of God, nothing else matters. It doesn’t matter what someone else has accomplished. It doesn’t matter what is happening all around me. Who has what. What I don’t have.   I am grounded into that spot on the carpet of my faith. And allowing myself to be content, be at peace, be in confidence, and in the right balance.

All because I focus on that “carpet” of my life.

I had written this draft a few months ago and had “forgotten” about it until I started using my blog more regularly to post student writing from a homeschool co-op class I taught this fall. This blog post was exactly what I needed as I look to go back to yoga tonight after a month off because of traveling and holidays. 🙂

Super Bowl Party (student writing)

Super Bowl Party

by Reilly

This crazy family watching the Super Bowl thinks they have to scream to the football players. While their dog, Tucker, is thinking, “Who are these crazy people!”  Mary, the sleepyhead, says, “Be Quite, You’re nuts!”

They love watching the super bowl. Lori is screaming, pointing and telling a football player to go get sprayed by a skunk.  Bryan said, “We in the third quarter. Score already!”  Tori is screaming, “Get off my tv screen.”

Painting (student writing)

Painting

by Noah

Kelly, John, Bob and Billy are painting a house with a G.M.C. 2500 truck.  The little boy is getting a paint can for the painters. The truck is for getting the paint from the store to the house.  The house belongs to needy people. The painters are volunteering because the needy people can’t pay them because they are poor.  The owner is John. He is a Christian, so he was okay with that. His wife is Kelly. She is a Christian too. Their son is there too. When they keep in touch with them after the job is done, they learn that the truck got a flat tire on the way home. It got towed back home, so they can fix it at home.


Murder Land (student writing)

Murder Land

by Octavian

Leeroy leaned over in the pool of urine with his good friend Gilda. Leeroy was not wearing a shirt because he was dropped on his head as a baby. The pool was full of urine because Leeroy was holding it in for 14 years.  The reason he was holding it in was that the nearest bathroom was in Japan. He traveled there from Australia on foot. He peed as soon as he got to Japan. He filled up a public pool with urine drowning everyone in the pool.  Leeroy swam in urine with his friend Gilda.  Quaid saw all the murder. He shot Gilda with a sniper rifle from a mile away. Leeroy got scared and died of malnutrition. Quaid put sunglasses on and walked away.

Octavian is in 7th grade and spends all his time on the computer plotting world domination.

Checkers of Glory (student writing)

Checkers of Glory

by Justin

Feona and Noah are playing ground checkers outside on the concrete. They are at a restaurant waiting for a table.  While waiting for their table, they decide who will be red or black by playing Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot.  Feona won, so she got to choose her color first. She picked red. Feona and Noah’s parents are there with them. They are all on vacation. Noah was sad because he wanted to be red. He asked Feona nicely if he could be red. She said okay to letting him be red this time.  Once they started playing, their parents told them their table was ready, so they went inside to eat.

After they were finished eating, their parents told them, “we are going outside to talk to our friends so behave.”

Feone and Noah said, “ok, we will behave. We are going back outside to continue playing checkers.”

Feona and Noah went back outside and started playing their game of checkers again until their parents said it was time to leave. They were sad because no one won the game of checkers. They were happy when they decided that instead of saying no one won they would call it a draw. As they went to get in their cars to go home, they were telling their parents all about their game of ground checkers and how the game board was REALLY BIG!  Once they got home, they called their friends, Sunny and Molly, to ask them if they wanted to play hopscotch.  They said yes and to meet them at the park in an hour. Noah was so happy to hang out with friends.

Justin lives in Pennsylvania and enjoys playing all types of games.