Category: Aidan

  • Baby Dedications and Bathroom Stalls

    Her son looked so cute.  She had found him a little tux. He was the first baby I held after Aidan.  How could I tell her how hard this day was going to be for me? My husband and I sat in the pew at our friends’ church.  Friends on one side.  Strangers on the…

  • 10 Years Ago

    10 years ago.   10 years ago I said hello to my first baby. 10 years ago I said goodbye to my son Aidan. 10 years ago I waited and waited to hear that first cry. 10 years ago I heard that cry after we told the Dr. to stop CPR. 10 years ago I…

  • Happy Birthday – Slice of Life

    Today my son turns 8! I can hardly believe it.  I still can remember the day he was born.  I was overdue and was scheduled to be induced on a Monday. My parents from Minnesota decided to come out early. As a little back story, they weren’t able to make it for the birth or…

  • Mother’s Day without Children

    Happy Mothers Day people cheer all around. You stand there without children.  All the moms are getting flowers. Do you go up for one?  You are a mother.  A mother without a child. Your child is buried in a little cemetery. All the other moms have kids running up with them. Do you walk up…

  • Baby Showers and Ventilators

    “Oh, you won’t be at her baby shower?” the secretary asked me with a curious expression. I wanted to scream. Had she not read the company-wide email that my infant son had died shortly after birth? Had she forgotten that everyone in the offices should have known about our son’s severe problems? Had she not…

  • Laughter in the Midst of Grief

    My son missed his own funeral. Yes. You read that correctly. My son missed his own funeral. I can laugh at it.  It is one of the aspects of Aidan’s life that brings me a lot of laughter. It is where I can clearly remember laughter in the midst of grief. Aidan only lived for…

  • If only she knew….

    “Oh, you have two boys with Irish names. How cute,” the lady said to me. “You really need to have a little girl. Caitlin would be a beautiful Irish name for a girl,” she continued. I cringed and laughed it off. “No, I am fine with my boys,” I nicely replied. “Well you must try,”…

  • Nine Years Later…

    It is hard to believe that today, December 27, 2011, I have a nine-year-old. I think often about the verse that says, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  Luke 2:19 (NIV). And that is what I often do when it comes to Aidan. I ponder. I treasure.  Nine…